Wall Street Addict in Harlem

Note: All the facts regarding this man’s story have been altered to protect his identity. The Twelve Step Program insists on anonymity, and for good reason; however, I personally feel that the stories of many inspire others to begin their own quest for peace and joy. 

Years ago in midtown Manhattan I had the terrific opportunity to hear a man—once a big wheel on Wall Street, but who had nearly destroyed himself with cocaine—speak at a 12-Step meeting. His story was dramatic. An attractive and eloquent fellow of upper middle-class origins, he had risen fast in his career and was soon earning the big bucks. He bought a fancy apartment on the upper east side and had a cool live-in fashion model for a girlfriend. He dined at the best restaurants in the Big Apple, jetted around the world on company business, and hobnobbed with the rich and occasionally the famous. Then a so-called friend introduced him to cocaine…and so began his rapid dive into a living hell.

His addiction was so destructive that within a year he’d lost his job, his apartment and his woman. His family, sick of his conning ways, wanted nothing more to do with him. He ended up homeless in Harlem, where he used to cop his drugs. One late evening he found himself sitting on the dirty littered floor of a burnt-out tenement with not even a few bucks on him for a vial of crack, worse still, he had not a shred of self-respect.

Circle of Light: Kali, Aghori & Unconditional Love #3/6

It was twilight by the time the entire group had assembled in my Brooklyn Heights apartment. We sat in a circle on the floor of my candle-lit living room and held hands in silence in order to create the perfect atmosphere for sharing. Then Melissa produced her Talking Stick and a mantle of awe fell upon us—for the polished wooden rod really did seem to exude a magical aura all of its own.

As hostess, I explained how we were going to use the stick to explore the concept of Unconditional Love. A few groans were uttered, which subsided under a volley of glares from those who took our sharing mucho seriously. Briefly I spoke of the high ceremonial and spiritual value of such a stick in the context of aboriginal democracy—that a Talking Stick is passed around in a group, or used by a leader as a symbol of his/her authority. Only the person holding the stick is allowed to speak—a wise custom that allows all participants to be heard, including introverts. Consensus can force the stick to move along to assure that the pedantic and long-winded don’t dominate the discussion, while the person holding the stick may allow others to interject.

Demon of Eclipses & Illusions – Part 9/9

The non-addict does not understand why an addict continues to hurt himself. A “normal” person sees an alcoholic woman racked by smokers’ cough; her teeth are yellow, her fingers stained with nicotine, she stinks of booze, sounds like death warmed over, and is under medical supervision for a range of potentially fatal illnesses.

The “normal” person scratches her head, puzzled  — why the hell is this woman doing this to herself? Why can’t she just stop this nonsense right now? Why indeed! The bitter truth is that the urge to self-destruct is built into addiction, and only the fellow addict discerns this — which is why the Twelve Step Program — designed by addicts and alcoholics to help addicts and alcoholics stay sober — has such an astounding track record.

Built into this dis-ease of self-destruction is shame  — a sickening emotion that continues to fuel the addiction. The genius of the Twelve Step tradition lies in defusing this shame by encouraging addicts to speak openly about their demons. “We are only as sick as we are secret,” is one 12-step motto, and in the cozy anonymity of thousands of church basements and other meeting spaces all over the globe, addicts and alcoholics are encouraged to spill their deepest darkest secrets, knowing full well that they are not alone, and that they have the support of millions who famously “love them until they can learn to love themselves.”