Luminous Kalyanamitras – Part 1

kalyanamitraLean on me when you’re in trouble, as that fabulous old hit goes, I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on….Right on, bro, when life administers yet another unkind kick to the butt, there’s nothing like a friend to dispel impending doom: a crabby aunt who gifts you hard cash when the mortgage is due; a stranger who points you in the right direction when you’re panicking in a new city; a muse who whispers encouragement at critical moments; the buddy who stays loyal, even after you tumble off your lofty pedestal, revealing frayed and dirty knickers.

Certainly everyone who supports us in this cold world is a treasure. And yet…to that rare human who ventures into the uncharted territory of inner worlds, a higher level of alliance becomes essential. This is the realm of the kalyanamitra, a friend who dances to subtle inner rhythms, refusing to conform to the standards of an insane world. If you’re lucky enough to attract a kalyanamitra to you, make sure you always give this precious one the right to hoist you out of the sulphurous quagmire of delusional thinking and hazardous habits—and be ready to return the favor!

While mutiny often brings exhilarating freedoms in its wake, the freshness of being a maverick can quickly pall. During my own trajectory out of the mainstream, I’ve seen a thousand rebels fall into the abyss of depression and addiction, grow bitter, dull, or insanely self-destructive. Some tuck their tails between their legs and limp back home, unable to hide their relief to be back within familiar, if not happy, surroundings. Better a known devil than an unknown angel, as that old saying perspicaciously points out.

Those who have famously strayed off the beaten path know the value of a spiritual friend. In fact, over two thousand years ago, Gautama Buddha gave us the Three Jewels—of Buddha (guru), Dharma (the right teaching for you to evolve) and Sangha (spiritual community); a kalyanamitra fits into the third category. Gautama even went so far as to list the seven qualities of an ideal kalyanamitra: one who inspires love, respect, and emulation; counsels you in times of trouble; listens patiently; is able to discuss profound subjects; and who refrains from leading you into bad habits. 

Read more in Part 2

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22 thoughts on “Luminous Kalyanamitras – Part 1

  1. You are a wonderful person with much knowledge and understanding.
    I like your writings.
    Kalyanmitra…..the word says so much.
    Keep writing n keep spreading light……your are a lighthouse for person like me.

  2. I read this several months ago, Mira, but how auspicious that you shared the link with Deb and me on the very day I needed to read it again. Our connections continue to amaze me… ❤

  3. Excellent post, dear Mira. Thank you for pointing me to it. Very eloquent in right choice of words.
    This journey reminds me of times, when I left very familiar territory and ventured into unknown. I recall thinking if I will survive the wilderness, will I get to know me better or will I just be a confused one and go back to the familiar. I am so glad that I sticked around in the wilderness, lifetime journey 😉

    • I still find myself in the wilderness from time to time…especially in between major creative projects or due to the loss of someone or something precious to me…but there is no choice but to go on. The wilderness is a wonderful place to grow – especially in retrospect!!!

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